Learning Buddies Network

View Original

The importance of listening to your child

Communications Team

Source: Unsplash (@benjaminmanley)

In today’s life, we often discuss how children are so busy with technology and never put their devices down, but adults sometimes need to pause and focus on what their child is telling them. Listening to one another is a way to be able to communicate in a healthy manner. “It’s possible that listening – especially to your children – has never been more important” (Wessler, Kirk).

Listening is essential and is used not only towards your coworkers or boss but also with children. By listening to your child, you teach them that they can come to and feel accepted with you as a support system. Also, the response given back to your child is critical. For example, if your child shows you an art piece they made at school and attempts to explain its significance, rather than brushing it off, offer words of encouragement and thank them for the effort and time that they have put into the lovely work they have made. 

Active listening is showing that they have your full attention.

This means: 

  • Making eye contact

  • Sitting in an open position (rather than having a closed posture)

  • Nodding and validating their feelings even if you don’t always agree (be open-minded that your struggles vs their struggles are different but they must still be respected) 

  • If advice is what they seek, then guide them kindly while allowing them still to make the decision that they think is best

  • Rather than multitasking, set aside the time to talk

In an article by the Positive Parent Project, Anita Cleare says that “Feeling understood provides connection and makes it much more likely your child will talk to you again in the future.” This is highly important because when kids grow up, especially in today’s day and age if they don’t feel like they can come to a trusted adult who will listen to their emotional needs they may be more inclined to fall into unhealthy coping mechanisms. Low self-esteem is also another side effect as kids may feel that their issues are not valid (thus, also leaving them more vulnerable to unhealthy coping strategies).

In brief, one fundamental core to having a strong rapport with one’s child is to be able to actively listen. This may sound simple but can take years to work on and it’s something we all continue to learn to be able to do.

Sources and Further Reading: