Supporting a Student as a Family Member

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Like all circumstances throughout life, being a student presents its own challenges—ones that require a strong support system. Within the greater journey of education, learning, and experience, one often encounters moments of frustration and need. These can come from self-doubt, undergoing academic challenges, being overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, and the many other feelings that may arise as well. 

However, this phase of life does not need to be an independent endeavour. We should all be able to depend on our loved ones through phases of adjustment and difficulty and even strive to be a pillar of support in someone else’s life. Throughout the exams, notes, pens, and pencils that are distinct to the experience and daily life of a student, there are also many things that can be done by supporters in the background, not often seen, but thoroughly appreciated. 

1. Being a Good Listener

Being available and a good listener to those you care about is a skill and act that we can all practice engaging in. Listening attentively is not always intuitive, even when you truly care for someone. It takes time and practice to prioritize someone’s feelings, and comprehend them. As mentioned, listening is a skill, but there are methods of improving it and making others feel more heard in all areas of life. 

There are many seemingly minuscule tasks and aspects involved with active and engaged listening. In any thoughtful conversation, there are components of understanding and also constructing thoughtful responses, and this is applicable to more than academics. 

Firstly, while listening to someone else, it’s helpful to ask questions. This helps you understand the premise of someone else’s emotions, as well as improve your response. Asking questions also signals interest, engagement, and curiosity. Those results all mesh together to support a better, more empathy-led conversation. 

Maintaining eye contact is also a physical signal of active listening and attention to the person speaking. Additionally, it is essential to ensure you are not distracted nor interrupting, especially in sensitive moments. Similarly, it is important to not jump to any conclusions or judgements. As previously mentioned, empathy should be a priority in a conversation with someone vulnerable, as reaching out to get help from others is a show takes courage, and it can be disheartening if someone feels they are not taken seriously. It is important to remember that whoever you are speaking with chose to confide in you, and thus your appropriate reception and ability to listen is critical. 

It is also important to continuously treat others the way you would desire to be treated, a piece of generic and simplistic advice—but eternally true. Understanding others requires reflection, ponderance of what is thoughtful to say, and sincerity. Displaying genuine curiosity, and kindness can be comforting in itself. 

2. Providing Positive Input

As a family member, you play a highly impactful role in the trajectory of someone’s career in both positive and negative ways. It is common within many families to hold their children to a high academic standard, which can push many children away from pursuing their full potential. In this way, parents can give school, and education itself, a negative image, like a shadow that lingers behind it.

Such ideas can be harmful because pushing children away from certain subjects in school can be detrimental to their potential success in those areas. However, more importantly, it can diminish the self-confidence of a child and place unhealthy stress on them. 

It is also customary for many parents to have an inherent desire for a certain career or educational path within their child’s future. These are often a result of the way they have been raised, or even cultural standards. It is natural to desire the most abundant future for your child, but it can be a heavy burden to fulfill if it isn’t something they truly want. Every child is different, and thus concrete markings of “success” can not be applied to everyone.  It is also part of a parent’s love to want more opportunities for your children than you had yourself. However, it should be recognized that every child is unique, and thus, your child cannot fulfill your own aspirations. 

Setting realistic standards and goals for children is important to foster pride and value within them. Lower expectations can be discouraging, implying that as a parent or family member, you do not believe in their abilities or that they are capable of much more. Standards and thresholds to motivate success and effort throughout a child’s life should be moderated and realistic to the child and their individual skills. Support should be appropriate, and as a result, evolve as a child grows older, which requires constant adjustment. 

Providing positive input can encompass many things: encouragement, reassurance, reliability, and much more. Being a good listener, as discussed, can be one small aspect of this, but there are many things that a parent, sibling, friend, or relative can do to ensure that they are an avid motivator and supporter in a student’s life. 

3. Understanding Different Needs At Different Ages

Being a student is not simply tests and exams, but rather, a summary of many separate experiences and the many stepping stones along the way. Among countless moments of learning, there is constant evolution in the life of a student. 

As a parent or family member of an elementary school-aged student, there are many things that teachers may recommend doing alongside your child in their best interest. These can include daily reading activities, discussing homework and classwork, and attending student-teacher conferences, among other suggestions. These develop a healthy mindset with relation to school and learning, and ensure that parents are aware of ongoing events, assignments, and topics. The habits developed at such a young age can also travel well into future endeavours, namely secondary school. However, in addition, to be successful in jobs, and other opportunities in someone’s life, strong habits are also valuable.

4. Remaining Patient Along the Way

Highschool is a new journey, and for many can be a difficult adjustment. Alongside new and exciting signs of growth and independence, there are new expectations and obstacles to surpass. As a parent, your child may be experiencing new emotional challenges as well, and patience is required to face these. They may find it more difficult to ask questions and to seek your help with homework, studying, and assignments as their academics become more advanced. 

It is important to be patient, and not put unhealthy pressure on your child to perform to a high, or even unachievable standard. Such pressure can result in discouragement and self-doubt, and adverse feelings towards learning and education itself. It is important to be patient, rather than contribute additional pressure to the mind of your child or family member.

It can be difficult to overcome defeat, as both a parent and family member. But as a supporter, you should remain thoughtful and patient, and not let difficulty impede what is even more important: your relationship. 

A sibling who might help with homework ever so often, a father who drops their children off, or a mother who reads with hers, are all examples of the role that those around you can play in your educational journey. Doing so shows love and care, and the necessity of help. Hard work often teaches valuable lessons that can not be seen until later on. Endurance, persistence, and perseverance are necessary to pursue any journey of dedication, and every individual deserves unconditional support in times of difficulty.